You need to be spending time with friends mama.
Something happens when we become mothers. We stop being the center of the universe, and instead, our universe rotates around this tiny human that captures our heart and soul. We become tired, sometimes irritable, and often carry around worry and guilt that is more magnified than we ever knew could exist.
As a mom, we often stop making time for ourselves for self-care, frankly, because we don’t have the energy or time to do anything else. I admit it. I stopped putting any effort into friendships after my kids were born.
We ate, slept, survived our days, and then would rinse and repeat. I had the occasional co-worker happy hour, but I very rarely put time into investing in my true friendships. I certainly didn’t make spending time with friends a priority.
Now that my kids just started school and my work transitioned from outside the home to working from inside the home, I have more time now to invest in my friendships. Boy does it feel good! I didn’t realize how much I missed having friends, like real friends (not the Target cashier I saw every week, although sweet).
Let me tell you
Here are 9 reasons why you should be spending time with friends:
1 – It will make you a better mom.
When you make time for yourself as a mother, you refuel your mind and body. It doesn’t matter if you are exercising or having coffee reconnecting with a friend.
Spending time with friends gives you a bit of a chemical response. It makes you happy. When you are happy, you are calmer and more likely to react in a positive manner when things get stressful at home.
Related post: 8 Benefits of Minimalism for Moms
2 – Your friend may need you too.
I have been surprised by the number of times I have reached out to a friend, and she needed me as much as I needed her.
If it has been a while since you have connected with your friend, you may be the breath of fresh air she has been searching.
Maybe she has been dealing with a marital issue she is too embarrassed to tell others about, but you know her. Maybe she is fighting post-partum depression, and she is scared to tell someone. Her kid may be having problems in school, and she doesn’t know where to start looking for answers.
Spending time with friends is good for you, but it is also good for your friend.
3 – You will have someone to call for support.
By maintaining your friendships, you are building a community of other people you can call on for support.
When we moved to a new town, I made it my mission to build a village of other moms as quickly as possible. My husband works out of town a lot, and I didn’t want to be left alone, in a foreign town, with no support.
Investing in your friendships helps you have someone you can lean on when you need it.
4 – You will have somewhere to drop the kids if you need a break or an emergency babysitter.
We all need an emergency babysitter (or a break) sometimes. Your friends aren’t there to be your babysitter. However, if you need it, they are your friends, and they are usually happy to help out when you need it.
I often advocate for families to trade babysitting services. Going on a date with your husband is expensive by the time you pay a babysitter $50 and then add in the cost of a movie and dinner.
By creating a switch off with a friend, you can both fuel your relationships and help each other out!
5 – Your family will get a break from you.
When you spend one-on-one time with a friend, your family gets a break from you.
When spending time with friends, my husband goes over the top to have fun with our kids. He will set up an entire evening of fun. What happens to me? FOMO (fear of missing out!)
Yet, my kids and my husband need that time together too. Those are their specials date without mama. Don’t let mom guilt get you. Go on that friend date.
6 – You get a new perspective.
By spending time with friends, you give yourself the opportunity to get a fresh perspective from someone else. It can be on parenting, relationships, work, or whatever it is you talk about.
Sometimes I get a bit emotional about certain issues. Having a friend’s perspective often helps me see issues in a new light, which I appreciate so much. It keeps me grounded and diversified in my thoughts and opinions.
7 – You get out of the house.
Sometimes you need to get out of the house. It doesn’t matter if you are a working mom or a stay-at-home mom, we’ve all had those days where we needed to escape the obligations in our home.
Laundry can wait another day. Make the time to spend with your friends. You won’t regret it. It will fuel your soul.
If you have to, take your kids with you. Schedule a play date at a location where the kids can play safely and you and your friend can reconnect.
8 – You get a break from your daily obligations.
Like I’ve already said, let the laundry wait. The dishes can remain in the sink. You can go grocery shopping another day or do online ordering and pick-up.
Make time for your friends and take a break from your daily obligations. You work so hard everyday to be the best mom possible. You deserve a break every once in a while.
Related post: I Need More Free Time! How to Get Back Time in Your Day!
9 – Friendships take work.
Friendships require time and effort.
If you don’t make the time to invest in a friendship, it won’t grow and could possibly even fizzle out. Don’t let this happen by spending time with your friends.
If you have let a friendship go cold for a bit, rekindle it. Reach out by phone, text or social media. Ask the friend how they are doing and see if they would like to reconnect soon.
Social media doesn’t count in maintaining a friendship. You can follow someone for years on social media but not actually know how they are really doing.
Reach out to your friend. Meet for coffee or bring the kids to the park.
Friendships take work, but they are worth the effort you put into them. Spending time with friends will give you what you need to be happy and fulfilled.